Study Date
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Sakura and Shisui have gone on a lot of dates for people who aren't actually dating.
1. Study Date

**YES IT IS I, RETURNING TO THE NARUTO FANDOM AFTER A MILLION YEARS. TO BRING YOU MORE CRACKSHIPS. Or rather, I was dragged kicking and screaming back into it by papalogia, who supplied the prompt for this.**

 **Hopefully writing a bunch of shorter things will ease me back into the characters... so I can get back to work on Waking Up at September's End.**

 **Prompt: Study Date, for Shisui x Sakura**

 **Non-Massacre AU, obviously. I love that AU.**

* * *

When Sakura had suggested that the group should study together for their upcoming evaluations, she had anticipated resistance. What she hadn't quite expected was to be wholly abandoned by said group.

Kakashi had smiled behind his mask, and then said he remembered seeing an old lady that needed help crossing the street. Sakura just waved him off. No use in trying with him, honestly.

Naruto had flat out told her that by no means was he going to sit in a stuffy room for several hours with a bunch of braniac nerds, and had promptly fucked off.

The others had been more or less gentler in their refusals, some of them even offering decent reasons, such as Ino who had to work in the flower shop, and Sai who needed to paint a pond at a specific lighting at a specific time (at this point Sakura no longer questioned the needs of the artist). Shikamaru, however, had also been brutal in his blunt, "I would rather sleep." (But then again, she had sort of expected that response from him.)

Itachi, though, _his_ betrayal stung. She thought at least the Uchiha prodigy would be into this whole studying idea. The stoic man could generally be relied upon whenever Shikamaru was too exhausted to cater to the same intellectual pursuits. But then again, if Fugaku needed him and Sasuke for something, then that was that and Sakura was going to have to live with it. It had been like this for as long as she could remember, and it wasn't about to change anytime soon.

Thus leaving her all alone to study with a man she barely knew. Who might have be or might not be her not-quite-crush.

However, what puzzled her was why Fugaku would need Sasuke and Itachi for something clearly regarding the clan… and then leave Shisui behind.

Or Shisui could just be ditching. That was entirely a possibility with this particular Uchiha. He seemed to break the too-serious mold most of his clan were crafted from.

But then he would be ditching to study… with _her_. A man who, although he did not talk about it (much less brag), was _every bit_ as talented and smart as his younger cousins. A man who - more likely than not - _did not need_ the studying. In fact, she would bet serious money on it, despite her aversion to gambling (gifted to her by courtesy of being Tsunade's apprentice).

And so Sakura decided to over-analyze it. As she normally did.

 **Option One:** He had decided to stay out of pity for his cousin's friend.

Very likely, given what she knew of him. Little though that actually was. Although they had never really talked one-on-one before, she _had_ been witness to a number of Itachi's praise sessions for his cousin (okay, so it was more like - "Shisui was the one who taught me this" or "Shisui tried to help out a random stranger again" - but coming from _Itachi_ that was tantamount to singing his praises from Konoha's rooftops).

 **Option Two:** Shisui was using mentoring her as an excuse to get out of whatever Fugaku had planned for the clan that evening.

Also a distinct possibility. Shisui loved and was devoted to his clan by all appearances, but according to Sasuke he held quite a bit of disdain for certain precepts the clan adhered to. Plus, if it fell into line with his sense of humor… well Sakura had seen Naruto do much more extreme things than skip a meeting for the sake of a joke.

 **Option Three:** The older shinobi wanted to help her learn for its own sake.

Which made her stomach feel all fluttery and blood rush to her ears. Reactions she thought she'd kicked all the way to Kumo at the same time as her crush on Sasuke and most definitely _did not want back._

Sakura did not like this option. She refused to believe this was the truth.

Yes, she had a minor… something-feeling for him. He was handsome, and older, and mysterious, and kind, and smart, and talented, and funny. Who _wouldn't_ have a something-feeling for him?

She could handle those... whatever-feelings maturely, though. Sakura had dealt with them before, she could do it again. She was a adult not a twelve years old, not that her hormones seemed to realize. (Because _those_ were _dead set_ on, "we have a shot™!")

So she wasn't… quite paying as close of attention as she should have as Shisui spoke on the advanced _genjutsu_ scroll laid out before them on the table.

A hand waved in front of her face, and Shisui let out a low whistle to get her attention. "Calling Sakura- _chan_. Come in, Sakura- _chan_." When she blinked and her eyes lost their glazed-over appearance, he shot her a grin. "There she is!"

Sakura let out a cough. "Sorry about that." Heat crept across her cheeks at being caught daydreaming. Whoever invented hormones needed to be dismembered. That was her professional opinion as an accomplished medical ninja. Sakura would be more than willing to be the first to volunteer for the duty. With a smile, and an uprooted tree at the ready for optimal swing.

"Not a problem. Maybe we should move on to a different subject for a bit?"

That only made her redder. "You're a much gentler teacher than Tsunade- _sama_ ," she observed dryly. "She would have punted me halfway across Konoha for losing focus." And _had_ , actually. Multiple times. Losing focus was deadly for a medical ninja - for themselves, and their patient. Tsunade was very... diligent in instilling this knowledge into her pupil's pink-bedecked skull.

"I think the librarian would frown on that," he retorted, gesturing vaguely to their surroundings. "And she's scary when she's angry."

Sakura couldn't help snorting in response. "Isn't the librarian a relative of the Uchihas?"

"And that is how I know," Shisui replied, somber. "Fuyumi is terrifying. You should see her at clan meetings."

That phrase gave Sakura pause. "You mean like the one that's supposed to be going on right now?"

"Oh, there isn't one." Shisui shrugged. "Itachi lied."

It took her a moment to process this revelation. "…He what?" Itachi? Mr. Straight-Lace? Lying about a-matter-of-utmost-importance?

"Lied," repeated Shisui. "Deceived. Bamboozled. Tricked. Hoodwinked. I could go on."

"No need," she reassured him. "I get the picture." That little weasel bastard. The sleep deprived ferret was going to pay for this. "Though _why_ is what concerns me."

"You could say that he…" Shisui paused for half a beat, "… _weaseled_ out of it."

Sakura returned his beaming, expectant expression with as blank a stare as she could muster. Long practice with Naruto, and Kakashi, and sometimes Kiba gave her the advantage here.

Finally, Shisui wilted. "No good?"

"No," Sakura said, allowing her actual amusement to shine through at his crestfallen expression. Looking at him, it was like she'd kicked his puppy. "It was fine. I'm just wondering how long you were sitting on it."

"The entire time."

She bit back a laugh. "Okay, so… Itachi ditched me. But I'm surprised Sasuke went along with it."

"Oh, he doesn't know," Shisui informed her, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Sasuke genuinely thinks there's a meeting, but in reality Aunt Mikoto just wanted to spend more time with him and enlisted me in getting it to happen. So right about now my precious little cousin is probably enduring some enforced mother-son bonding time."

"What about Itachi, then?"

"Total mama's boy," Shisui stated, with zero hesitation in outing his best friend. "He's probably enjoying the tea ceremony or flower arranging, or whatever it is Aunt Mikoto _thinks_ entails an appropriate bonding activity."

Actually, Sakura was pretty sure Itachi enjoyed those pursuits for their own sake just as much, but that was neither here nor there. "I see. So I'm just… collateral damage to the prank, then?"

Shisui flinched, and let out a pained laugh. "Kind of? I'm sorry, Sakura- _chan_. If it makes you feel better, I did not expect everyone to decline and for Itachi to pick _now_. Also, I did have to bribe Itachi with five whole popcorn to get him to do it."

Somehow Itachi was the one that truly got the best end of this situation, Sakura couldn't help observing. "What did you get in exchange then? From their mother?"

He shrugged. "Time spent getting to know you, I guess. Seems a fair trade to me. I mean… we've known each other a long time, right? You and Naruto have been friends with Sasuke for years. But I can't really say that I know you all that well. Plus, you know… I thought we could swap some pointers. _Genjutsu_ from me, and that thing you do where you rip giant trees right out of the ground because _that is cool_."

Sakura gaped like a fish at him, but somehow managed a nod in response. She was finally getting a feel for who he actually was.

Shisui had Sasuke's brain combined with Naruto's personality.

Suddenly, she understood why Itachi had patted her on the shoulder with a sympathetic, "Good luck," as he left. Oddly, this did not deter the hormones like by all rights it _should_ have.

It was going to be a long study session.

But an interesting one.

Dare say she was looking forward to it.

Plus, she would get to hit things with a tree, and show off to her not-quite-crush. All in the name of atudying, of course.

Win-win as far as she was concerned.


	2. Fake Date

**This is a birthday gift to Papalogia! Happy birthday, Eien. Look, I even finished it on time!**

 **Ended up including copious amounts of ItaSaku, plus mentions of other Sakura pairings I'm into. Couldn't resist, too much fun.**

 **Since they take place in the same sort of AU, I decided to make this oneshot a part of a series with Study Date. I really like this AU. Not sure if I should change the title or not, though?  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Sakura's hands curled against her legs, sweating in her leather, fingerless gloves. The heat in the room was stifling, but she dared not show any weakness in front of the man before her. He was peering at her curiously, processing the request she'd come to him with. The box fan in the corner, gentle hum lost beneath the cicadas cries, was doing little to alleviate Sakura's discomfort, and she wondered how it was that Itachi could look so unperturbed in his solid black outfit.

The fact that she hadn't been denied outright was promising, she felt.

Finally, Itachi addressed her. "You wish for me to... fake date you?"

She swallowed thickly, and nodded. "Yeah. It's kind of an emergency. Mom's been on my case ever since I hit twenty about settling down, and I finally caved and told her I had someone in my life just to get her off my back."

A wry smile touched his lips. "I can relate."

No doubt he could. The pressure was probably even worse on him as clan heir. "Mutually beneficial for both of us, then," Sakura stated. "We both get our mothers off our cases, and neither of us will expect anything of the other."

She could see him waffling. Sakura hadn't survived early childhood with Sasuke for nothing - she could read an Uchiha like no one else. Itachi's weak spot was always his mother and his brother. And he was easy to trust, somehow.

"Mebuki and Mikoto are both formidable women." He considered it further. "I must ask why you came to me, however. Wouldn't Sasuke or Naruto make more sense?"

"My mother would never buy it," Sakura replied, flat. "She wouldn't buy Sai, either, before you ask. My options aren't great - most everyone else already has a significant other. I got so desperate, I even asked Ino to be my fake date."

That seemed to deeply amuse him. "And how did that go?"

"She laughed me out of the flower shop."

A true smile tugged at the corners of Itachi's lips. "Then I will assist you. A few hours of socializing with your family is something I've managed before. When did you need me?"

"This Friday night?" she asked hopefully.

Suddenly, he sighed. "My apologies - I'm afraid I have a prior engagement that evening." The way his face twisted up with distaste, Sakura could venture a guess that it was something clan heir related. His dark eyes swept over her with something resembling pity.

It was her turn to sigh. "No, thank you for even agreeing at all. I'll just have to suck it up and eat crow." She was _not_ looking forward to this in the least. Her mother would hold this over her forever. Maybe even use it as an excuse to set up a marriage meeting. No. That outcome needed to be avoided at all costs. Maybe she could convince Kankuro to make the journey from Suna. Dealing with one crow was preferable to the other variety, and she could swing, 'hey my boyfriend can't stay long or visit ever again because he lives in another country.' She would need a suitable bribe. If he couldn't do it, she was absolutely sunk, though.

Her obvious despair must have incited further compassion from the stoic man, as Itachi then offered, "I might know of someone else willing to entertain your request. He's another member of my clan, and so long as you state it clearly for him, he won't try to read into the situation."

Leaning forward, Sakura nodded vigorously. "Go on. Who is my savior angel?"

A smirk crawled across Itachi's face. "A certain Uchiha going stir crazy right now thanks to a certain medic's house rest recommendations."

She had been wrong. That was not compassion she had stirred in Itachi. It was cruelty.

Sakura groaned. "Not... not Shisui."

"Shisui," he confirmed.

"You're enjoying my suffering, aren't you," Sakura accused with a glare. "But I really am out of options... and his ribs should be healed enough by Friday to go out with supervision..." She sighed heavily. "Fine. I should at least ask him."

Itachi rose to his feet, patting her shoulder as he walked by. "I'll let him know to expect you. A visitor might..." He winced, and that was honestly all Sakura needed to know what she was in for.

"It's only been two days," she muttered. "He can't possibly be that..." She trailed off as well, and Itachi nodded solemnly in understanding.

This was going to be almost as unpleasant as showing up dateless would be.

* * *

The malicious glee on Shisui's face when she arrived at his home was almost enough for Sakura to turn on her heel and forget the whole ordeal. She was seriously reconsidering - not for the first time - her something-feeling for the man, and if she shouldn't just cut her losses and go with Plan Kankuro.

"So..." Shisui began, lying on his back in his futon, like she had prescribed (which was somewhat surprising, actually). "My wonderful cousin tells me that you're in need of a favor. Well, you're in luck because I'm in need of one as well."

"I'm not clearing you to leave your house," Sakura informed him bluntly. Medic duties came before personal feelings, and she took her job very seriously.

He grimaced. "Not interested, then. Do you have any idea how out of my mind bored I am thanks to you?"

"It's only been two days, and I'm not the one who broke your ribs," she reminded him. "Blame your _wonderful cousin_ for that. And you can't bully me like you do the other medics so you're just sour."

Shisui rolled his eyes. "Since we can't reach an agreement, please leave my house. Just having another body next to me is stifling in this heat."

Why were all shinobi like this when it came to recuperating? Not all of them were as bad as Kakashi, but damn if they weren't all obstinate about what should be common sense. At least Shisui was obeying her orders, though. She would have had to physically tie down Kakashi or Naruto. (And good luck getting Shikamaru _out_ of bed.)

But this was an emergency, and she really, really needed Shisui's cooperation.

"Wait!" The cry escaped her lips before she could stop herself, and tinged with far more desperation that she would like. "I can't clear you right now, but on Friday you can go out... with supervision."

He hummed in thought. "That's great, but you would have cleared me anyway as a medic. What else have you got?"

Sakura grit her teeth. Obstinate. All Uchihas were obstinate to a fault. "You would get a large homemade meal out of the deal."

His eyebrows shot up.

"With considerable leftovers."

"I'm in!" he agreed. "You had me at homemade meal. Haven't had one of those in _forever._ So what do you need from me that's so important that you're willing to stoop to bribing an invalid?"

"I need a fake date for dinner with my parents on Friday night."

"And I'm out," Shisui said. "I don't do parents. Parents are terrifying. Especially yours - I've met them. Mebuki, in particular, is extremely terrifying."

"And so is Itachi," Sakura reminded him. "Don't forget - he specifically recommended you to me. He'll dismember you if you winge on something you've technically already agreed to."

A strangled noise emanated from Shisui's throat as the truth of that statement sunk in. "You make a compelling argument."

Sakura could play Uchihas like a fiddle. Very annoying, whiny, high maintenance fiddles half the time, but still a valid comparison.

"So do we have a deal?" she asked.

He sighed, looking very put out, and Sakura resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Fine. I'm in! What do I wear."

"Casual is fine but, you know, _nice_."

Shisui blankly stared at her for a long moment. "How about you just go to my closet and pick something out for me. Trust me, that'll be better for both our sakes."

After a second of consideration, Sakura agreed.

"And," Shisui added, "since you're getting up - mind bringing me some water? Then we can hash out the details about our sordid, nonexistent love life. Because, again, I've met your parents. They are going to grill me and serve me with soy sauce." He paused, as realization dawned. "Wait, _I'm_ not the homecooked meal, am I?"

This time, Sakura did roll her eyes, and he gave her a grin.

* * *

Dinner, thankfully, went off without too many hiccups. Thankfully Kizashi and Mebuki were too busy squabbling over their daughter actually having a boyfriend to do much damage to the man's psyche.

That being said... the pair were exhausted by the end of the evening from the work of keeping the charade up.

"You know, it's lucky we're good friends and your mother's cooking is delicious," Shisui said with a smile as he waved goodbye to Sakura's parents. "I would not wish that awkwardness on anyone." He paused, and then added, "Except maybe Ebisu."

He didn't even know the half of it. Having your parents meet your boyfriend was nerve-wracking enough without it also being fake, and with the man you were not-quite-crushing on. Whoever invented feelings was a sadist. "At least you won't be asked every other day about how the nonexistent relationship is going," Sakura replied, tightening her grip on his arm in mild retaliation for her pain. "Tell me, how long do you think until I can tell them that we've broken up?"

"I'd give it two weeks, at least."

Sakura's face relaxed into a real smile (and so did her grip on his arm) as they rounded the corner and escaped her parents' line of sight. "Thanks for helping me out, Shisui."

He shrugged, unconcerned. "What are friends for, if not to fake date each other in times of need?"

"Yeah, you say that, but I distinctly recall you refusing at first."

The Uchiha shrugged again. "I don't remember that. Must have been the heat stroke talking."

"Uh huh," she said, unconvinced. "Well, if you ever need anything, I owe you one."

He looked a little too excited by that prospect. "Anything? Then, the next time I get injured..."

"You'll obey my orders as a medic-nin and _enjoy it_ ," she interjected.

His mouth closed with a snap. "Drat. Okay then... how about next time, you keep me company. Job permitting, anyway. It is seriously boring to just lay in bed all day for a week by myself."

Sakura nodded, warmth spreading across her cheeks. "Sure thing. I can do that."

They walked, arm-in-arm, across Konoha to Shisui's residence. They'd agreed ahead of time that Sakura could stay in the guest room that night. It would help with the illusion, and it was late, besides. There was also the fact that Sakura had meant it when she said Shisui wasn't to be out and about unattended, so dropping her off at her apartment was out. This was better all around for both of them.

As they neared the building, Sakura suddenly broke the comfortable silence.

"What do you think about ganging up on your cousin tomorrow for forcing us to endure this?"

"I am _in_."


	3. Lunch Date

"Sakura- _chan!_ Sakura- _chan_ , over here!"

The excited calling of her name was a long-familiar occurrence for the pink-haired woman; she knew who the voice belonged to long before she was able to spot the blond haired man waving enthusiastically at her from the ramen stand. The way he called for her had never changed in all their years as a team (and if Sakura were being well and truly honest with herself, she didn't want it to). His tall frame was hunched over so far he was nearly bent in half to avoid the hanging shop curtains.

Sakura smiled at her teammate's boisterousness and walked over to Ichiraku, complying with her friend's wishes. It was too late to pretend ignorance and flee; after all, he'd already spotted her and she'd made eye contact. Besides, hanging out with Naruto was no longer the chore it had been for her when she was younger. Both her and Naruto had matured and calmed down a great deal over the years, and had grown a lot together as well. When their respective unrequited childhood crushes finally sputtered out, they had found themselves with an extremely strong, close friendship that had weathered the worst that war and their careers had thrown at them. Nowadays, they often found excuses to hang out together – although perhaps the fact that they rarely came together as part of the same team for jobs had something to do with that.

Ichiraku was, these days, the main location chosen for Team Seven get-togethers outside of the training grounds. Which wasn't too surprising, given that Naruto ate nearly exclusively at Ichiraku (now that he had the money to get away with it). But it also held some fond memories for the group, now that their respective paths had diverged so much – Sasuke with the responsibilities of his clan (and being the heir's younger brother), Naruto with his goal of becoming the Hokage (an ambition still burning brightly even after all this time), Sai and Kakashi with their ANBU missions (Sai had his art to pursue and when Tsunade had suggested foisting another team of genin onto Kakashi the man had just laughed – although technically he'd never said "No" so he should probably fear for the possibility), Yamato with… whatever Yamato did in his spare time (the man was still largely a mystery even after all these years), and with Sakura spending most of her time with her medical duties. So any time Sakura got to spend with her teammates was precious to her, and at least Naruto endured her half-hearted lectures about his poor diet decisions with good cheer and oftentimes an invite to join him for dinner at (surprise, surprise) the ramen stand in question.

It did shock Sakura however, to see Naruto already dining with someone outside of Team Seven today.

"Ino!" Sakura declared, happy to see her other blond bestie at the stand and pulling up a stool beside the duo. "I'm surprised to see _you_ here. And with _Naruto_ of all people."

"Hey! What does _that_ mean?!"

"Hey, Forehead," Ino returned with a roll of her eyes, steadfastly ignoring Naruto. "It's my cheat day, so I'm treating myself," she gave by way of explanation. "And Naruto is always here. Though I suppose there's _worse_ company to be had than him."

"I'm not _always_ here!" Naruto protested weakly, flushing when the women stared back at him with their doubt clearly written on their faces. Not finding any sympathy there, he switched tacks. "So what's new with you, Sakura- _chan?_ "

Before Sakura could respond, a devious gleam appeared in Ino's eyes that made Sakura nervous. "Yeah, Sakura- _chan_ ," the woman teased, a shit-eating smile spreading across her face. "Tell me how that… uh… _date_ of yours went. Must have been nerve-wracking. Meeting your parents is a big step, after all. Last Friday, right?"

" _Date?!_ "

Sakura sighed as Ino's prodding bore fruit, though with the wrong individual. Naruto was staring at his teammate like she'd grown another head. "You, Sakura- _chan_?! On a _date?!_ "

A snort (not unlike a pig's, Sakura thought uncharitably) came from Ino at that. "I know, who'd want to date _her?_ " Then the blonde woman waggled her eyebrows suggestively at her friend, leading Sakura to wonder which of the blond, blue-eyed pair had actually apprenticed under Jiraiya. "But you were seen heading to that dinner with _someone_ and the rumor mill is rarely wrong, so cough it up, Forehead."

 _'You say that like I didn't expressly ask_ you _to be my fake-date for that dinner first, Ino!'_ Sakura growled internally, unwilling to voice it aloud for that would mean admitting to the fact that she'd had to bribe someone into it after all. And a patient of hers, at that. It was one thing for _Ino_ to know it was a sham, it was quite another for _Naruto_ to know about her shame. For all of her love of gossip, Ino wasn't one to reveal secrets willy-nilly herself, _oh no_. She much preferred to weasel them out of others and use whatever she uncovered as blackmail at a later date. A true member of Torture and Interrogation, through and through. Naruto, on the other hand… he'd blab. Maybe not immediately, and definitely not intentionally. But he _would_. Most likely to Sasuke… who would then tell _Mikoto_. Which was bad enough for Sakura all on its own, but after that, it was only a matter of time before it would inevitably find its way to _her_ mother's ears.

Her mind frantically spun, trying to gather up an excuse that would get both Naruto and Ino to drop the matter. Sakura wasn't ready for the charade to fall apart just yet! One more week, and she and Shisui could "break up" and all would be well! She just had to get through this!

Salvation came in the form of Ayame, the new owner of Ichiraku sweeping over to Sakura and smiling at her like a benevolent god of ramen. "Now, now Naruto," Ayame chided her favorite customer gently. "It's rude to pester a woman on her love life. Especially over good food."

Naruto stared back at her, mouth agape and gestured at Ino, pointing her out as the instigator here, rather than him. A motion which went unnoticed as Ayame turned to Sakura and inquired about her order.

Thankful for Ayame's timely rescue, Sakura ordered her food and tried not to make eye contact with the unrepentant sunshine duo. She could feel their eyes boring into her as she fiddled with her disposable chopsticks, refusing to meet their gazes.

The second Sakura's ramen was served – and Ayame was out of immediate earshot, tending to other customers – Ino resumed her interrogation as if she had never been interrupted in the first place. "I know you aren't dating anyone for real, Sakura! But _someone_ took pity on you for that family dinner, and I want to know who it was. Maybe I'll bring them flowers as thanks for the herculean effort. And it's not like you're losing anything by telling me!"

"Wait, what?" interjected Naruto, confusion swimming in his blue eyes. "It wasn't a real date after all?"

Sakura sighed heavily. Well. _That_ kunai had left the sheath. "No, Naruto. It wasn't a real date. I just needed to… to present the _illusion_ of a romantic life to my parents, so they wouldn't start trying to help me with _actually acquiring_ one."

The tableware jumped as Ino slammed her fist onto the wooden counter. "That's why it's so weird that she's being all cagey about who it was!" She leveled a piercing stare at her best friend. "You've got nothing to lose here by telling, so why are you dodging the question?"

"Because it's my private life?" Sakura responded.

"Bullshit," Ino was quick to counter. "You lost that right when you asked _me_ to be your fake date for this thing first. I'm involved now."

A giggle-snort erupted from Naruto, his cheeks bulging as he struggled to hold back his laughter. "You asked _Ino_ to be your fake-date? That's… that's freaking hilarious!"

"I know, right?" Ino let out an undignified snort of her own at the thought.

Sakura looked on at the pair in bewilderment. First Ino laughed at her when she asked, then Itachi was amused about it, and now Naruto and Ino were _both_ laughing at her! What the hell! Seriously, what was the joke here? What was she missing?! Finally, she gave in with a huff of indignation and asked, "Why does everyone find that hilarious?"

"Because I am _way_ out of your league, Forehead," Ino informed her point-blank. "Also, who is this ' _everyone_ ', hmm?" Her air quotes were frankly unnecessary, Sakura felt. "A certain date, maybe?"

"N-no," Sakura stuttered unintentionally, which lent the statement all the convincibility that Kakashi's excuses normally possessed. She didn't miss the way the predatory gleam in Ino's eyes had sharpened at her lackluster denial.

The kunoichi could feel her willpower to resist the persistent inquiry being slowly leeched away. Ino had a point in all of this. Why _was_ she so reluctant to divulge that it was Shisui that had helped her out? It wasn't a real date, just dinner with her family.

She dismissed the voice in her head that bluntly stated it was because she would have liked for the date to have been genuine.

"If you must know," she said with a half-hearted glare at Ino, "it was Itachi." That had laughed, that is.

The mirrored disappointment shining on their faces and the way their enthusiasm suddenly deflated at her answer was almost worth the headache they were inflicting upon her person.

Naruto was the first to voice a complaint. "It was just _Itachi?_ That's… kind of boring."

Nodding in agreement, Ino added, "Yeah. All that effort to find out, and it turns out to be just Itachi. No way there's anything juicy in that. He's too far out of Sakura's league for there to be anything to it."

Ouch. That stung a little.

"Still, he went on a fake date with you? Color me surprised," Ino tacked on. "I would've thought he'd refuse outright."

"I asked him, and he agreed." It was all technically true. Itachi _had_ agreed. Before the scheduling conflict emerged, that is. But it had still occurred, so it counted. "So… can we drop the subject, now? My ramen is getting cold."

Ino considered it for a long moment, and Sakura could practically see the gears turning in her head. It was clear that Ino didn't quite trust that Sakura was telling her the full truth, but at the same time Ino didn't have enough evidence to the contrary just yet to call her out on it. The dilemma seemed to physically pain the blonde. But after a minute, Ino reluctantly conceded that Sakura had won the bout. "Alright. I'm done with my lunch, anyway. But don't think this is over just yet, Forehead!" She waggled a finger in her best friend's direction. "I will get the details from you one way or another. Mark my words."

"I'd like to see you try, Pig," Sakura countered. Then she turned to address Naruto. "I'll be at the training grounds later, working off this ramen if you want to join me."

He grinned back at her. "You got it! I'll drag Sasuke along, too!"

Sakura suspected that any visible reluctance on Sasuke's part would be largely for show, and that what Naruto was about to do would amount more to a rescue of the poor man from his clan's clutches and machinations on his future.

Once they had departed, Sakura heaved a sigh of relief. She loved both of them to death, but Ino and Naruto as a tag-team was, quite frankly, horrifying to endure. Sakura would be sure to unleash all of her pent up frustration on her teammates later at the training grounds. But first… her lukewarm meal, and trying to dispel the lingering emotions that Ino's questions had dredged up inside of her about Shisui.

"Wow," a cheery voice cut through her internal monologue, "I didn't realize that you were so embarrassed by me that you'd lie to your friends. It hurts, genuinely it does."

Choking on her noodles, Sakura inhaled broth directly into her lungs, and launched herself into a coughing fit. Leveling a glare at the shinobi plunking himself down beside her, Sakura could only observe that Shisui didn't look particularly put out by what she'd said. If anything, he seemed to be in a teasing mood, and if he had truly overheard all of that then it didn't bode well for her immediate future. Sakura still remembered the pranks and mild tormenting he'd delivered upon Sasuke as he'd grown up. It had been a sign of his _affection_ (or so he'd claimed), but Sakura largely blamed him for the more twisted aspects of Sasuke's personality. The man was a demon when he wanted to be, and she didn't relish having that sort of attention focused solely on her.

When she had finally recovered her ability to speak, she hissed out, "Eavesdropping on your friends is _rude_."

"So is discussing them behind their back!" he retorted. "Besides, you're a shinobi. You should have noticed me."

Right, like she was going to be able to do that when one of the village's most accomplished was trying to remain undetected. Sure. She'd never been a great sensor-type, anyway. "I'm finding it hard to believe that you were offended by anything I said," she pointed out. "Given that grin on your face."

His reply was almost sing-song. "Don't let my natural optimism and cheerfulness fool you, Sakura- _chan_! I was deeply injured just now."

"Uh huh. Sure you were."

"Sakura- _san_ didn't say anything that wasn't factual to her friends," came a droll voice from Sakura's other side, giving her another miniature heart attack. "So your argument is a little flimsy, Shisui."

Sakura suddenly recalled that Itachi shared his cousin's sense of humor to a large degree. It just manifested a lot more… _quietly_.

"Itachi- _san_ ," she greeted through gritted teeth, putting a little more force into the honorific than normal. "It's nice to see you, too."

He nodded serenely at her in return.

Now she _really_ needed to pulverize a few logs into nonexistence.

Besides which, her noodles were now hopelessly soggy and unsalvageable.

Dismounting from her stool, she shot the pair a smile so cold that Sai would have been proud. "If you'll both excuse me, I'm headed off to train. Unless either of you two would like to volunteer for the role of my new punching bags…?"

Normally not even _she_ was brazen enough for that sort of threat (or at least, not towards this pair in particular), but it seemed to amuse them, and the brief flash of alarm that darted across Shisui's features when she cracked her knuckles was mollifying.

"No thanks!" Shisui responded, once his composure had been restored. "We're here to eat, after all. You'll have to settle for Naruto and Sasuke, as usual." He waggled his fingers in her direction. "Have fun! And try not break too many of their bones!"

Given his recent adventures in the department of bone breaking, that may have held some genuine sentiment.

Sakura mirrored his gesture, her fingers waggling back at him, but refusing to drop her empty smile. "No guarantees~"

As she turned to leave, she missed the shudder that had passed through Shisui's body.

Once she was out of sight, Itachi regarded his cousin with a critical eye.

"What?" Shisui asked, curious about what was going through Itachi's mind.

"…Hmm." The monosyllabic grunt held fathoms to it. Thankfully, before Shisui had to put his brain towards the task of dissecting the meaning behind it, Itachi provided, "I doubt she'd be able to catch you with your techniques, so why the unease?"

Shisui reached across the empty seat between them and clapped a hand on Itachi's shoulder. "I've seen what those hands can do to trees and bone, my friend. One should always appreciate raw power of that magnitude. For their own continued health."

Itachi glanced down at his cousin's hand with barely concealed disdain. "Then why go through the effort of antagonizing her?"

Releasing Itachi's shoulder, Shisui leaned back and grinned brightly. "Don't you know? Danger is pretty sexy."

There was something absolutely twisted in Shisui, Itachi was sure. It had been proven to him time and time again over the years. But it wasn't any of his business if his cousin decided to chase after his own premature demise. Not anymore, at any rate.

So he just shook his head with an amused, "Good luck."

Sakura was sure to beat Shisui's overconfident, risk-taking ass into the ground at some point, and Itachi fully intended to watch that show.


End file.
